GIRLS. MAKE people think you are a nurse by growing a massive arse.
EX BLUE Peter presenters. Start crying on telly when questioned about the death of your dog. People will never suspect that you used to give him a good hiding with his lead as I once saw you do in Halifax in 1978.
SKATEBOARDERS. Next time you come to a set of steps with a handrail in the middle, pick up your skateboard in one hand, grasp the handrail with the other and carefully walk down the steps. This way it won't be quite as painful on your bollocks.