MR. MUSCLE loves the jobs you hate', the advert says. Oh yes? Well I haven't noticed it volunteer to suck my husband's sweaty cock every Friday night when he comes up to bed after watching Eurotrash.
ON OUR wedding aniversary this year, my husband promised to treat me like a princess. And he was as good as his word. He took me out for a meal, got completely pissed and on the way home crashed the car into a concrete pillar at 120mph, killing me instantly.
ONCE A loony leftie, always a loony leftie I say. If the people of London are foolish enough to elect Ken 'Red' Livingstone as their Lord Mayor, they will have no one to blame but themselves when the lesbians and the IRA are winning all the sandcastle and snowmen competions in the park.