NOBODY ever comes to Cyprus just once, so the tourism advert says. My dad did. He was ran over and killed by a bus in Limmasol on the first day of his holiday.
IF I UNDERSTAND it correctly, Osama Bin Laden's two main achievements so far have been to reduce airline prices, and to stop Americans leaving their country and clogging up ours. So what exactly were we bombing him for? We should give him a fucking knighthood.
MARTIN Brundle sang the praises of the 16 strong Ferrari pit crew during the Italian Grand Prix last week after they changed Michael Schumacher's tyres in 8.4 seconds. That's nothing. I stopped at some lights for 5 seconds in the centre of Liverpool last week, and some kids had my hub caps, wing mirrors, radio and my briefcase out the boot. And there was only 3 of the bastards.